Chapter 18: Piñata Peril

They hadn't walked far when they came upon a couple of strange beings who appeared to be having a discussion.

“I always say chocolate is only good in small amounts,” the Dragon said. “Melts too easily.”

“True, I've always avoided it. It can really mess up your insides,” the clown[79]replied. “I go with the classic sugar skulls.”

“Sugar skulls are the only way to go. All of those squeaky little voices,” the dragon agreed. “They’re so unnerving.” 

The odd thing about these two was that they appeared to be made out of paper and they were covered with small streamers of colored crepe, the dragon mostly of green. The clown had on a red paper dress over black and white striped legs. 

As Lulu studied the them, she realized that they were piñatas. Living, speaking piñatas.

“Let's try these two and see, Mary. They look fairly dafficalt,” the dragon suggested as they approached Lulu and Reggie. Just as Lulu was about to say something to the dragon, his midsection erupted spewing forth a blast of candy skulls that rained down around them. The skulls were squeaking, as promised. She could catch a word here and there, but it seemed not to have any particular sense.

“Cool,” Reggie said as he bent down and started collecting handfuls and putting them into the Expedition Kit.

Lulu watched as the dragon's midsection reformed itself so that one would never know it had exploded just moments before. That would be an interesting skill to have for a human, she thought. She imagined the shock and horror she could create if she were able to pop her guts out all over the floor and then magically re-heal. She could get out of ever having to go to school again. In fact, she'd probably be banned from school, because she would cause everyone in the room to vomit at the same time. Even the teacher. Then they would probably all start slipping around in all that puke and falling down and stuff. The thought was sickening. The principal would come in and he'd slip in the barf too, just before he started to barf. Lulu almost laughed, but the situation was still too distressing.

“See, that one is picking up everything. They don't really care if it even tastes good,” the dragon said. “They’ll probably scarf it all down without thinking and then get into a van with us.”

“But that one,” Mary pointed to Lulu, “is just standing there staring, Marty.”

“Maybe it’s afraid of being poisoned,” Marty said. “Or it could merely be stupid.”

“Reggie, put that candy back right now.” Lulu grabbed his arm and jerked him away from it. Lulu was suddenly reminded of one of Jake’s pranks. 

“Cut it out,” Reggie whined, “I'm going to have to empty out this case just to fit it all in.”

“Did you not hear the dragon mention poison just now?”

Reggie thought for a few seconds and then began to put the candy skulls back on the ground.

“What are you creatures?” Lulu asked.

“We're the Popping Piñata People, of course,” the piñata clown answered. “I'm Mary Pop'ns, and this is Marty.”

“Do you know how to get to Xanadu? Or how to find a Snipe?”

“Oh, no. Our heads are quite empty. We don't know anything,” the dragon answered. “Now aren't you going to take some of that nice candy I just popped out. It isn't poison. I promise. In fact, if it poisoned you I would give you a full refund.”

“Refund of what? I didn't buy anything.”

“Oh, well I'd give you one anyway.” the dragon said.

“Didn’t that one just have a fit?” the piñata clown asked, pointing at Reggie.

“How did you know that?” Lulu asked. 

“I didn’t have a fit.”

“We saw you,” said Marty.

“We were watching,” said Mary.

As she made this statement both of the piñata people’s eyes opened on tiny hinges and mouse heads emerged. Four mice peered at them from what had been the eyes.

“Don’t let those rodents distract you. They live in our heads,” Mary said.

“That’s pretty distracting,” Lulu said, unable to take her eyes off the mice, who stared back. They were cute.

“We used to be regular kids until the witch found us.”

“She took the filling out of our skulls and decided to raise mice in them to save space.” This time Marty spoke. “Now we have more going on in there, so it’s fun. The mice tickle our eardrums, though.”

“Come on, Reggie.” Lulu walked past the Piñata People.

“Don’t try the black stuff,” Mary said, as Lulu passed. The only black stuff Lulu knew of was the stuff from the Pool of Serenity.

“Let’s get moving. These two are creepy.” Lulu tugged Reggie’s arm.

“The mustache is still moving so we must be on the right track,” Reggie assured her. She rolled her eyes but didn't say anything.

Lulu turned away from the Popping Piñata People and Reggie followed.



[79]Don’t ponder points postulated by a piñata. They will be prevaricating and petty, purporting pedantry.