“Wow,” Lulu said, as she and Reggie looked around. The giant flowers looked like flowers back home, except they were so tall she couldn’t see anything else, and of course, flowers in Washington aren’t made of sugar. And the sky; it was a swirling purple and blue and pink paisley.
“What happened?” asked Reggie, propping himself up on one elbow. He seemed a bit groggy.
“We went through a magic painting and escaped to...”
“This place is weird. And you look weird, Lulu--kind of blurry and yellow.”
“I wonder if we’re in Wonderland.” Lulu remembered a movie she’d seen about a place kind of like this. Except that this wasn’t a cartoon. “One thing’s for sure: we’re not in the Black Mansion anymore.”
“Maybe it’s Texas,” Reggie answered.
“You’re in Sugarland,” a gruff voice said from whence she knew not.
“Who said that?” Lulu challenged in her most haughty tone.
“I said it,” the voice replied. She looked around and finally she saw a lawn gnome.
“You can’t talk,” Lulu shot back.
“Fine, then I guess I won’t be telling you anything else,” the gnome replied.
“Tell me what Sugarland is right now,” Lulu demanded.
The gnome just stared straight ahead, not moving a hair. In fact, his hair looked to be quite solid and therefore unmovable. She reached out and touched his gnome hat, which was sculpted from some hard substance.
“Don’t touch me, you nasty child,” the gnome snapped. She could barely believe it when his mouth actually moved to form the words. “Children are absurdly unsanitary.”
“You really do talk!”
“Wow, your parents must be thrilled to have such a brilliant brat.”
“Shut up, stupid garden gnome,” Lulu replied.
“I’m a Sugar Gnome, for your information. Or should I say for the witch’s information. All information is the witch’s information in Sugarland. She patented information and thus has a monopoly on it.”
“Oh, no. Don’t tell me we’re in West Texas,” Lulu cried, looking around to find the painting they had come through was nowhere in sight.
“No, you’re not in West Texas. Think, snotty tot: Look at these magical Sugar Flowers? Ever see anything like that in Texas?”
“Well…”
“Of course you haven’t. And do you see any litter?”
Lulu looked around. There definitely wasn't any litter around.
“What are magical Sugar Flowers anyway?” Reggie asked.
“Why don’t you taste one and find out?” the gnome asked.
“Don’t tell us what to do,” Lulu snapped, grabbing Reggie’s arm. “I don’t trust you. In fact, we aren’t supposed to take candy from strangers. And you are strange.”
“Fine, don’t taste one.”
“I will if I want to,” Lulu countered, breaking off a piece of what appeared to be a giant Sugar Lily and popping it into her mouth. It was sweet and tasted like vanilla but no sooner had it dissolved than she began to rise into the air. She knew she shouldn’t have trusted the gnome. Rising like a helium balloon with too much helium, she grasped Reggie's hand as tightly as she could. It was a good thing she wore pants, she thought, as her feet continued to rise and she turned upside-down still holding hard Reggie's hand.
“Take a bite of it, Reggie. I can’t hang on much longer.” Luckily, he reached over and broke off some of the lily and put it in his mouth without arguing, perhaps a lingering effect of the black pool, and they rose together, Lulu now right side up, until the gnome and the flowers were far below.
“What’s going on?” Lulu shouted at the gnome, hoping he’d offer some advice.
“You ate a Levitation Lily,” the Sugar Gnome called. “See ya later. Or not.”
Lulu and Reggie hung on to each other as tightly as they could.
Finally able to see beyond the flowers, Lulu saw that they were in the garden of a beautiful castle. “Look over there,” she said pointing at it.
“Let's see if we can fly there,” she suggested.
As soon Lulu made the suggestion, focusing her attention on it, off they went like a bullet toward the castle, still gripping each other’s hands. They landed atop a high tower.
“Wow. That was great,” Lulu exclaimed, letting go of Reggie's hand. Now, that was a kind of flying she could get into. It confirmed her idea that flying was great fun when you were the one in control. If only the witch would teach her how to fly on her own whenever she wanted. She could put on shows back home in Walla Walla and she'd be famous. People would pay to see her fly around and scientists would want to study her. Then she realized they'd want to do medical things to her, like stick needles in her to get blood. She wasn't going to let them study her, she decided, but she'd go on TV and she'd join the circus. She would be able to go anyplace, from Japan to Wenatchee.Anywhere.
“How'd you make us fly over here?” a no-longer-stained Reggie interrupted, just as Lulu was about to imagine flying to the moon.
“I don't exactly know. But I'd like to take some of that Levitation Lily back to Walla Walla,” Lulu said, still so thrilled with the sensation of the flight she hadn't taken in their new surroundings.
“This castle is cool. I think it's made out of candy,” Reggie said.
Lulu looked closer at the structure and realized he was correct. It did seem to be entirely made out of sweets. The walls looked like sugar cookies and the decorative trim was icing, like you see on a wedding cake, with fancy little bunches of icing flowers here and there. There were licorice sconces, which at first appeared wrought iron and they held candlesticks that looked to be striped peppermint sticks with wicks.
“I'm going to taste it,” Reggie said, prying off what might have been a Mike and Ike at one of the windows, which he popped in his mouth without further examination.
“Don't, stupid.” She slapped a peppermint out of his hand. “This is probably the witch's house. Do you want her to show up and find you eating her castle?”
“Awww. But I'm starving.”
“You don't know what it might do to you.[67]Let's just look inside.” She stepped through the first doorway they came to and found a huge banquet hall, with long tables heaped with food.
“Wow, it looks like they’re about to have a party,” Reggie remarked, looking around them. There was turkey and ham, breads, cookies, cakes, sandwiches, and much more. There was even a Turkish Delight.
“I did wish for dinner before we went through the painting, and it was a magic painting,” Lulu pointed out. (She correctly surmised that the painting also had a wishful thinking charm.)
“I don’t believe in magic paintings,” Reggie proclaimed.
“I guess their efficacy isn't dependent upon your believing.”
“It's a stupid story.”
“Whatever. You can believe we got here by any other means you think would have worked then, but I’m starved. Let’s eat,” Lulu declared.
“Are you sure it’s safe?” Reggie asked.
Lulu marveled at how a moment ago he was willing to eat part of the castle, and now balked at a banquet. It really was like having a monkey.
“You're an idiot. And I’m so hungry that if I don’t eat soon I’ll die, and that isn’t safe either.”[68]
Lulu and Reggie were just eating the last bites of their meals and quaffing the last of their root beer when they heard it.
“Waaaaa, haaaaaaaa, haaaaaaa.” An all-too-familiar cackle rang out from above, where Lulu and Reggie saw the Wicked Witch of West Texas step from the dizzying paisley sky as if alighting from an invisible escalator. She looked unaccountably unmiffed.
[67] Lulu probably pictured a monkey.
[68]In fact, it’s considered the least safe of all activities.
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